Our first hop over the international date line

When the invite came on a weekend in mid-December just days after my final egg retrieval surgery, the timing seemed too good to pass up: a wedding in Hong Kong in two month's time. With no more fertility expenses on the horizon at long last, our finances were freed to start having fun. And the opportunity to do just that was handed to us on a silver platter. Direct flights from San Francisco were exceptionally low, so within a few days' time we'd booked our first new country since before the pandemic.

Hong Kong: Nico's first trip to Asia (east of Turkey) and our first time crossing the international date line

The vacation from America couldn't have come at a better time. We may have only been three weeks in to this new presidency, but it's felt like a lifetime. And watching my boss's role in the destruction of America as we know it weighs heavily on me. I show up every day to develop cutting-edge technology that will empower folks with disabilities while I watch the society around me slash funding and protections for those in society who need it most, the same folks I seek to serve. And all the while, I watch the media and the public group my team in with the folks who would see the fabric of our society torn, shredded, and lit on fire so they can watch it burn. In short, it was time for a vacation.

Hong Kong was still celebrating the Lunar New Year for the better part of our stay.

Hong Kong was different. I wouldn't say it's a must-see, but it was a wholly enjoyable experience. We were challenged to conceptualize city planning in three dimensions instead of two. Don't see a crosswalk? Look up. You made it to the location of your restaurant and it decided isn't along this block's sidewalk - did you check the floor on the address? We experienced a city without a public display of squalor and human misery. Was it crowded and in some places showing signs of aging? Absolutely. But did we once see an unhoused person? Heck, did we ever smell urine along any sidewalk ever? Nope. I didn't know you could pack so many people together and not only keep things generally clean but frankly safe. There may be a darker lining, but it didn't feel scary. Local guests at the wedding told us they could drunkenly stumble home at any hour of the night in Hong Kong without concern for their well-being. More than just safe and not scary, there were signs of a people who supported each other: each evening that we walked along the harborfront, we saw scattered pairs of blind runners and their guides, something I'd never before seen outside of competitions. And they weren't just a special running club - the pairs were totally independent of each other. I've never seen such a public commitment to making sports accessible in a city before.

But as I mentioned guests, there indeed was a wedding. And it was, as weddings will be, lovely and personal, intimate, unique, and all-around beautiful. We hadn't even realized our friend Brian was in a relationship until the invitation arrived, so we were thrilled to have the chance to get to know his new wife when they joined us at a Hong Kong rooftop bar the evening after the wedding. She, like her friends at the wedding, was exactly the kind of person we'd befriend, which was such a nice thing to find in our old friend's new life partner. Between the two of them, they hold 4 different passports: American, Korean, British, and Irish. And among this assortment of heritages, it was the Korean that really took center stage at the wedding. After the marriage registry, we were treated to a traditional Korean ceremony where the newlyweds were formally presented to each other, served their parents tea, and caught Korean dates (jujubes) and chestnuts tossed by their parents as a method of predicting how many sons and daughters their union will welcome. (Best of luck to the happy couple of their 25-give-or-take future babies!)

A beautiful and intimate Hong Kongese/Korean/western hybrid wedding complete with tram party around Hong Kong island.

We absolutely ate our way through the week. The foodie highlight was unquestionably Cheung Hing Kee Shanghai Pan Friend Buns, though admittedly not particularly vegetarian friendly. Hashtag B made a killer black sticky rice egg custard tart that I went back for several days over. The French toast (made with peanut butter!) and bottled milk tea at Shui Kee Coffee were a delectable local treat inside a converted warehouse that made us feel like we were locals. And the Shari Shari Kakigori House (admittedly a Japanese dessert place) would have been worth a second taste.

Gustatory highlights: pan-fried buns, Hong Kong style French toast with milk tea, kakigori (Japanese shaved ice), and black sticky rice egg custard.

Between the meals, we hit up most of Hong Kong's tourist attractions. Among the highlights were the sweeping vistas en route to the Tian Tan Buddha on Lantau Island, the fabulously exotic trees in Victoria Park, and the serenity of the Nan Lian Garden & Chi Lin Nunnery. We explored some of the locals' favorites like the "city within a city" of The Mills, a former textile mill converted into mall, community space, and art exhibition center. And we absolutely did not regret the day in Macau, probably our most charming destination. The free pandas exhibit was completely adorable and the streets of historical downtown were surreal: completely Portuguese from the white and gray mosaic sidewalks under our feet to the church spires up above, and yet perfectly Asian from the hustle and bustle to the cuisine to the store fronts. I often found myself wondering who the Portuguese translations on all the signs were really for, as I'm not sure I heard more than a single pair of people speaking the language during the entire day we wandered around the city. Still, it made the city way more accessible for a Westerner to navigate.

The Tian Tan Buddha on Lantau Island was the "touristy" highlight of Hong Kong.

Our day trip to Macau, a Portuguese territory until just 1999, was easily the most charming stop on the week's travels.

Overall, Hong Kong felt like the perfect spot for a Westerner to dip their toes into Asian culture. Every single sign bilingual, nearly everyone spoke at least a few words of English, the public transport was highly functional, and the city, despite its stature with more skyscrapers than I'd ever seen in one place before, was not at all menacing. It wasn't a place to fall in love with, but you could see how folks could build a life here. But before we knew it, it was time to return to the lives that we've built, an ocean away. We traveled back in time, landing hours before we'd lifted off. And the news alerts were there to greet us as soon as we turned off airplane mode. Normal life - or this new normal - picked up right where we'd left off.