What a day!

Years in the making, and we've got not one but new major announcements today. Cheers to some major life milestones!

Clinical trials, here we come!

Goodbye, US Immigration!

Big Plans

This was a week for seeing plans finally start to come together.

Even nature's been turning our way, though with a whole lot more rain than I've ever seen before in a California May.

On Wednesday, Nicolas aced his nationality interview. The officer formally recommended him for naturalization! He even remembered the name of our national anthem, consistently one of the toughest questions during our practice exam sessions and somehow the very first he got quizzed on. We should have stopped to celebrate, but we both had offices to run to so the festivities will have to wait until ceremony day.

Nicolas wore some appropriately festive shorts later that day during his company outing in Alameda.

Our heads were still spinning from the day prior, when we finally got the green light to bring James here for the summer. No, we don't have an adoption date. He's not even our foster kid yet. The administrative quagmire continues, but James's legal guardian has given him the right to travel for up to 30 days at a time, with no minimum wait time between trips, during his summer vacation. So guess who's going on two back-to-back 30-day trips to California with 13 hours back in Fargo in between? (It's cool, we'll just casually performatively jet James back and forth across the country. I'm sure that's totally in a child's - and the planet's - best interests.)

Boy, do we have plans, especially a furry one that James has named Lily.

Meet Lily, our new puppy.

Insanely low-res pix of Lily's mom, Snow White. Lily was part of this pretty lady's very first litter. Before becoming a momma, Snow White weighed in at just 27 pounds. Her shoulder height is 18".

And Lily's dad, Firefly. A total sweetheart who measures just 16.5" (shoulder height) and weighs 22 pounds.

Context: back in March, on our first evening alone with James, his very first question for us whether we could get a dog. And not just any sort, a golden retriever. We half-way saw this coming: one of the top few things James's profile said he wanted in a family was a dog. Really, we may have brought this on ourselves. But we knew enough of James's backstory to know this request wasn't just because he'd seen some dogs on TV or at a park and thought they were cute. As James tells it, he was raised as an only child alongside a golden, adopted at the same time as him, who was his best friend. His first golden had just passed, and he and his mom had adopted his new puppy, when his mom fell ill. This led to a cascade of sadness starting with surrendering the pup, followed by losing his mom, and ending with him in foster care. Knowing all that, "no" wasn't really an option, was it?

How were we going to fit a golden into a 2-bed/2-bath condo already populated by 3 sassy cats? About a zillion dog listings, phone calls, and shelter visits later, we stumbled across the miniature golden retriever, a mix that's been bred for about the past 15 years by a handful of breeders across the US. Miniature goldens are a cross of the golden retriever breed with mini poodle and the Cavalier King Charles spaniel. They've been specially selected to resemble goldens in both look and temperament, but end up about half the size. A couple family calls with a breeder in Ohio who had recent litters, and James had picked his new pup. Problem solved, Venmo transaction complete.

It all sounds like a lot at once, a kid and a puppy, but they go hand-in-hand. Point 1: the moment James will need his pup the most is when he's first arrived. Point 2: this gives James something to anticipate that, unlike a lot of the other prospects of a move from North Dakota to California, doesn't have an element of unnerving uncertainty. Point 3: at a moment when these foster placement proceedings drag out longer and longer, adopting a pup already give James something concrete to show him just how committed we are to bringing him out here.

But wait! Don't let the dog tangent distract us from the rest of the non-canine plans! James has got big plans for this summer:

• We'll be kicking things off with San Francisco Pride🌈✨.
• A week later we'll be taking him down to LA to hit up all the major sites - Hollywood sign🎥, Grauman's Chinese Theater🍿, Venice Beach🌴, etc. - plus he'll get to meet Ryan and Megan.
• The week after that, my parents will arrive bearing our new fluffy friend🐕, who'll be delivered to them the day prior from the Ohio-based breeder.
• After the week with the Repak family comes James's week of aerial summer day camp🤸, which I still can't quite believe he signed up for. Here's hoping he doesn't regret it, and comes out a week later with some new local friends. (Circus kids are the best.)
• We've got tickets to an A's/Giants game⚾ with Jake and Sarah.
• There's camping on Angel Island🏕️ just a few days later.
• Finally, a Boy George & Berlin concert🎶 is on the agenda.
• Between the rest, I'll be doing backbends to get his interstate foster placement approved before the end of this action-packed summer.

The only thing left to do is brace myself for one thoroughly unimpressed teen!😂 Just 34 more days, but who's counting?😉

Restaurant Week 2023

Oakland's Restaurant Week came and went. It was nothing to write home about so it's ironic that I'm doing just that.

We kicked things off with Millennium, a very highly rated vegetarian restaurant. A for presentation, C for taste. When the most memorable part of the meal was the carrot-shaped door handle, it's not a particularly compelling place for return visits.

Millennium: A for presentation, C for flavor

From there we went to Mama in Adam's Point, Oakland. I couldn't complain about the food - the portion size was the only thing lacking - but was a bit let down to realize their Restaurant Week "offer" was just the same prix fixe menu on offer every other weekend. A solid Italian restaurant at a reasonable price. 

Mama: solid Italian fare. Pasta game not on point with Passione Emporio, but a wider selection and a greater mastery of the dessert menu.

We wrapped things up with attempt #2 at the Berkeley Boathouse as part of Berkeley's Restaurant Restaurant Week, which kicks off at the tail end of Oakland's. Last year, having explicitly made a reservation for Restaurant Week, the hostess seated us and casually informed us that they were "all out" of their Restaurant Week offerings. No substitutes, just a regular menu. That disappointment led us to Passione Emporio, an excellent Italian place that we have revisited, so it wasn't a total loss. This year, after seating us, the hostess impatiently swung by every couple minutes reminding that there was only an *hour* left in which to place our order, and then she dropped that Restaurant Week was only for the dinner hour. Cute. 

A 16th birthday for the books

One week ago, we were flying home from Fargo. We'd checked visit the Fargo woodchipper off the bucket list and oh, right, just spent a weekend visiting our future son! 

In Fargo for our first visit and James's 16th birthday

The visit went about as well as any first meeting with a foster child could probably ever go. On Day 1, James didn't much want to make eye contact and I found myself worrying whether we were forcing a child into a situation that really didn't interest him and shipping him halfway across a continent in a wild scheme he'd only agreed to because he really wanted a new forever family. A couple days later, with the jitters worn off, the situation already looked quite different as we toasted with mocktails at his fancy 16th birthday dinner. By Sunday night, we were spending our post-dinner time together chasing each other around an outdoor rink having my first snowball fight on ice. We golfed, we shopped, and we ate way more than we needed to. We introduced James to lobster, filet mignon, and burrata. We learned just how much he loves bread - a requisite, as I understand it, for receiving his future French nationality - and how he hates raw tomatoes - he will truly be my son. His foster family was incredibly gracious all weekend. It broke my heart a little to see him playing with the foster cousins who soon won't be a part of his weekly routine (at least not in person), but we know that getting this forever family is what James most wants. James opened up about so many things we hadn't even planned on touching during our first visit. His resilience and matter-of-factness about life really impressed us, and he's got a sense of humor to boot.

We feel so lucky and excited to have found such a great match for our family. Now to bring him home!

A real-life grown-up birthday party!

For the first time since moving to California, this year we have enough friends to throw together a last-minute birthday party! It makes me feel like a total weirdo to even announce that like some sort of accomplishment, but adulting is hard and making adult friends is part of the challenge. This blog set out to track the journey of returning to my home country after a decade abroad, and to that effect I'd say this is a pretty big milestone on the path to calling this place home.

"Tell them I'm very excited"

Our family narrative may never include the traditional "she said yes" moment, but now we have one very big "he said" moment. Last Wednesday, James's team gathered to break the news that a family had been identified for him. Suffice it to say, things went well. A member of James's team described it as the highlight of their career. As the story was relayed to us, by the time he finished reading our family bio, he was already asking how soon he could move. And when his social worker clarified that we wanted to be sure he felt good about this whole situation, James told her, "tell them I'm very excited." Let's just say the feeling is mutual. 💞

A Valentine's Case Update

How are you allowed to feel when the answer to your prayers is made possible through the realization of someone else's nightmare?

I've been swimming in emotional turmoil since the excitement of last Tuesday's email: unanimously approved! Check AdoptUSKids: a Case Update notification just for us. What better Valentine's news could you hope for?

Before we'd even finished composing our excited reply to James's team, my worries creeped in. We'd just been approved for a kid without even knowing the sound of his voice. How would he feel? James still has no idea that we even exist. Yes, he knows families have been asking about him, and yes, his team has been checking in with him about plenty of aspects of our home and family to ensure he could be happy with us, but it's all been abstract until now. Suddenly, there are two very real human beings for James to learn about this week. Do I think we could be a great fit? Yep. But do I also know we're not everything he'd hoped for? Yep. A friendly dog won't be waiting for him in his new home, and there won't be a car in this new driver's garage. How will that news hit?

How much joy are we even allowed when James is entering our lives through a series of heartbreaks that led him to AdoptUSKids?

Vacillating between visions of family vacations, work-outs, and shared dinners, interrupted by thoughts of a child alone in the world tossed into a new life without much choice in the matter, well, it's not the best recipe for a good night's sleep. I'm completely thrilled that Nicolas and I are on track to welcome someone into our home who's hoping for adoption as much as us. And not just anyone: James shares many of our tastes, interests, and even quirks, a real catch if you ask us. I'm also terrified. We're about to dive into the deep end, James included, assuming he gives us the thumbs up this week.

There's no clean way to wrap up this story as it stands today. So much is uncertain. But it looks like there's lots of potential, and maybe also hope.